I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
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