you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
Randomize
