ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
Ladies don't puke and tell
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
