I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
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