dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
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