are you so shy because you have an std?
Dude, this chick just tossed my salad hard. All that I could picture was a dog trying to get the last of the peanut butter out of the jar of Jiff and trying not to think of how grotesque my last dump was.
Then she tried to kiss me and I wouldn't and she got pissed off and went to sleep. Then about an hour later, her kid called her. She went home and on the way out I told her to wash her mouth before she kissed her kid good night. Weird night..
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
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