i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
Remember that St. Patrick's Day when I fucked your married coworker in his truck and the whole bar was chanting for you "Don't fuck Mike"?! #TheLuckOfTheIrish 🍀
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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