I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
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