no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
and i looked up. we had an audience...
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
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