You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
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