I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
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