My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
Be still, my beating vagina.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
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