why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
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