You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Randomize
