so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
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