If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
Randomize
