she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
