Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
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