i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
Randomize
