Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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