my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
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