maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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