Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
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