no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
Randomize
