just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
Randomize
