The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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