dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
I pour the whiskey from now on
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
Randomize
