I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
Randomize