garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
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