So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
Randomize
