So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Randomize
