Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
Randomize
