The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
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