and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
is that a dick in a sweater?
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
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