I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
Randomize
