They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
Randomize
