I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
Randomize
