my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Randomize
