I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Panties = found
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize
