First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Randomize
