Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Randomize
