Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Randomize
