Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
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