i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize
