Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
He passed out mid-signature
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize