very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
Randomize
