so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
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Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
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Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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