There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
Randomize
