One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
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