You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
Randomize
