you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
Randomize
