i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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