Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
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she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
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