And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
Randomize
