Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
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