He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
Randomize
