Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
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