i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.