she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Randomize
