She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
I didn't shave. On purpose
I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
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