i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
God, you're like boner-b-gone
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
Randomize
