The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize