How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
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