You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
She made me pour olive oil on her.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
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