C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
The uberlube is also flammable
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
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