I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
