You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
I just googled if crying burns calories
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
The beers last night were like the tears from god
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
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