We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
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