it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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