im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Randomize
