The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize
